Healing Spiritual Wounds | spiritual-life

Welcome to Reflections on the Spiritual Life

Here you will find articles on spiritual direction, psychology and spirituality, contemplative practice, and the deeper movements of the spiritual life. Drawing on decades of experience in psychospiritual work and spiritual accompaniment, these reflections explore common themes such as shadow material, prayer struggles, images of God, dreamwork, and the emotional dynamics that shape our spiritual journey.

Whether you are seeking support in your own inner life or resources for spiritual direction practice,

I hope these writings offer clarity, depth, and encouragement.

Shame and the Spiritual Journey: Healing the Inner World with Compassion

Shame longs not to be fixed, but to be met. Many people come to the spiritual life carrying a quiet but persistent burden of shame — a quiet, corrosive sense that something is wrong with who they are. It may not always be named as such, yet it often shapes how a person prays, how they imagine God, and how safe or unsafe it feels to be truly known. Shame whispers: “I am not enough.” “I am fundamentally flawed.” “If I were truly known, I would be rejected.” Shame is not simply

A god-like figure with white hair and beard wears a red robe, standing frighteningly among clouds with light beams, conveying a powerful presence depicting the scary image we often have deep inside from childhood of God as the distant sky-god.

Letting Go of Toxic God-Images

Our Images of God Are Formed Early Spiritual direction conversations often touch on the process of uncovering and letting go of toxic images of God that have been absorbed during life, often in childhood. In an earlier article, The Spiritual Life & Our Images of God , I explore how these images are formed and the influences that shape them. Our images of God are not the same as our ideas or beliefs about God. Rather, they are emotionally charged inner representations — proj

Two cartoon figures, one with hands on face saying "I've never seen spiritual abuse," the other surprised, saying "I've never heard about it!"

Healing Spiritual Abuse & Church Hurt

Since my first article on spiritual abuse , I have been surprised and saddened by just how many people have contacted me who have experienced forms of spiritual abuse and church hurt. Yet, it is an issue that many still deny as being real in our church and faith communities; awareness is only beginning to dawn. And, as that level of awareness about spiritual abuse continues to grow, there will be increasing numbers of people who recognise themselves as being affected. In thi

Abstract painting of a swirling head amidst colorful, geometric patterns. The vibrant palette includes red, blue, yellow, and green and represents the difficult strong swirling emotions evoked inside us by spiritual abuse

Spiritual Abuse

This article was first written in early 2016, when spiritual abuse was rarely named or understood in the UK. At that time, survivors often lacked language, validation, or frameworks to make sense of what they had experienced. While much excellent work has since emerged, I keep this piece as a foundational overview of the dynamics involved — particularly for those encountering the term for the first time. What Is Spiritual Abuse? Spiritual abuse is a much under discussed subje

Silhouette of a person praying with hands clasped, rosary visible. Numerous lit candles in the background create a peaceful ambiance.

Struggling with Prayer : A Psychological Perspective

Many people experience prayer as unexpectedly difficult — especially at moments when they most long for comfort, clarity, or closeness to God. Rather than assuming this difficulty is a failure of faith or discipline, it can be helpful to look more carefully at the inner dynamics that shape our prayer life. This reflection explores some of the psychological patterns that may quietly influence our openness to prayer, often without our awareness. When Prayer Feels Most Difficult